So my dearest uncle has lent me a temporary 6 gig hard drive and he made my computer work for the moment. Unfortunately, I have no idea why it keeps breaking, and neither does he, really. He floated the idea that I am cursed, or have "bad computer mojo" which seems likely. So I don't have my webcam installed yet, and I lost all of my files, emails, pictures, etc. I'm pretty bummed out. I am going to go get a new surge protector today, just in case that's what the problem is.
On a lighter note, here is a giant ass.