Here is one of the famed valentines that Fran and I made when we were roommates in college. We made a large number of black valentines with Smiths lyrics on them, and distributed them to our disillusioned and alienated peers. Here are some sample lyrics that I can recall:

I know I'm unloveable
You don't have to tell me
Message received
Loud and clear

Two lovers entwined passed me by
and heavens knows I'm miserable now

But I don't want a lover
I just want to be tied to the back of your car.

I know I need hardly say
how much I love your casual way
but please put your tongue away

I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

In my life
why do I smile
at people who I'd much rather kick in the eye

and if a ten ton truck
kills the both of us
to die by your side
well the pleasure and the privilege is mine

Because if it's not Love
Then it's the Bomb
That will bring us together

I still love you
but only slightly
less than I used to

Last night I dreamt
that somebody loved me
no hope-but no harm
just another false alarm

Clearly, we were very charming young ladies. Odd that neither one of us can sustain a long-term relationship. Here's a really funny random Smiths lyrics generator.