Ok, I got the best email today from the only person on the internet who still entertains me. And so, rather than entertain you myself, I shall just post his letter verbatim.
"Do you think Bad or Thriller is better? Just wondering...."
Let us compare and contrast:
1. Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'/Bad
Oh yeah. Double hitter territory. Bad just rocks! And the video with those gay gang members must be the first attempt to raise the issue of homosexuality in gang culture in music video history. For that alone, it must win.
BUT NO! We are forgetting "Ma Ma Se, Ma Ma Sa, Ma Ma Coo Sa" twinned with the tightest musical backing since James Brown played the Apollo in trousers that didn't so much as show you which sex he was, but also his religion. "Startin'..." is such a good song. It is like a complete album in 5 minutes. All the positive vibes of an opener, the soulsearching middle and the hand-clappin', backing-singered finale. Thriller 1 - 0 Bad
2. Baby Be Mine/The Way You Make Me Feel
No contest. The weakest song on Thriller against the second best song on Bad. "Chika, chika
Chika, chika, chika Go on, girl" Thriller 1 - 1 Bad
3. The Girl Is Mine/Speed Demon
It's a close one, but Speed Demon throws in the towel with, as Paul Simon once said, 'words that tear and strain to rhyme' I mean, "Speeeeeeeeed Dmnnnn!" And The Girl Is Mine has a Beatle singing. Game, set and match. Also features Michael saying, "I'm A Lover Not A Fighter" Thriller 2 - 1 Bad
4. Thriller/Liberian Girl
There is no need to justify this. Thriller 3 - 1 Bad
5. Beat It/Just Good Friends
Now, I am not that crazy over Beat It. I think the guitar solo is plain awful. Spoils the song. Then, I can't for the lifer of me remember Just Good Friends. So... Thriller 4 - 1 Bad
6. Billie Jean/Another Part Of Me
One of the great Bad songs. In the best Stevie Wonder tradition. This song walks over so many other Michael Jackson songs. Unfortunately, just when Bad really needs to start picking up some points, along comes Billie Jean. The greatest bassline ever written struts into town.
There is nothing that comes even close to this song. When King of Pop time is over. Heck, 1000 years from now. This will remain. Two points. Thriller 6 - 1 Bad
7. Human Nature/Man In The Mirror
A close one. Man In The Mirror should knockout, but can't as it is cloyingly ego-lead "look at me, I am human too" wank-a-thon. Good tune, however. Plus, I am feeling pretty bad for Bad getting its ass kicked so royally. So I guess I tie is okay. Even though Human Nature is better :D Thriller 7 - 2 Bad
8. PYT/I Just Can't Stop Loving You
There was a time that Michael wrote wonderful ballads. Without him, there would be so fewer Bens in this world. Good thing/Bad thing - whose to decide? Anyway. Again, a nice lil' MJ ballad comes up against yet another Thriller headfucker. The only thing that is gonna make Bad look awful now is the fact it has more tracks. hehe. Thriller 8 - 2 Bad
9. Lady In My Life vs The rest of Bad (Dirty Diana, Smooth Criminal & Leave Me Alone)
Okay. Lady In My Life in schmaltz. Since the age of ten, I have known that this record should have finished with a reprise of track one. But no. It kinda whimpers away. Against that we can ignore Dirty Diana, as song-writing by numbers (and another awful guitar part) and move swiftly on to the best song on Bad. Smooth Criminal is out there. This song is so good that, 15 years on, I am still concerned to find out if Annie was okay. I mean, she may have had major recontructive surgery or something, and is now working as a volunteer in a shelter somewhere. And Leave Me Alone shows that Eminem having a "oooh. I hate being famous! Everyone bugs me all the time" Is not new. And Jacko said it with class. And still meant 'Fuck Off'. Two points to Bad. It would have been three, but thinking about Dirty Diana's guitar part has put me off eating tonite.
FINAL RESULT THRILLER 8 - 4 BAD
I must say, I do agree with this analysis except for one key point. Dirty Diana ROCKS (rox0rs?) the house. Other than that, perfect. :)
