I told my mom about the motorcycle ride incident and she said that it was appropriate that I wore an "I'm retarded" helmet, because I must be retarded to get on a motorcycle. If that wasn't enough, she also mentioned the likelihood that I would become retarded after an accident on said motorcycle. But, "not retarded enough to enjoy it, you would still know everything that you had lost." Then she tried to force me to say I would never do it again. So I told her I was going skydiving this weekend. xoxo