So here it is. I haven't posted in a few days because I have been too busy crying and whining. Now I shall tell the tale you have all been wondering about--the tale of woe that befell the house of Lina--the story of how I drove my car into four other cars and lived to tell about it.

Here is what happened. I was on the Bay Bridge going in to San Francisco. I was in the left lane. The dude in front of me hits the brakes. So I hit the brakes. The dude's car swerves, and hits the wall on the left side. I see him swerve, and that's when I realize that this is not the time for normal braking, this is slam 'em time. So I slammed on the brakes, and a moment later my car slams into his. It was a real bummer. Of course his car was fine, and my car was "totalled" (that would be using the insurance definition of the word totalled). Anywho, I get out of the car, and have just hoisted myself onto the railing of the bridge with the intent of plunging myself into the icy depths of the San Francisco Bay when I see the reason that dude slammed on the brakes. There was another 2-3 car accident directly in front of him. The reason I can't tell the difference between 2 and 3 cars is that they all, except one, left the scene immediately. It was great. Had my antifreeze not been all over the highway and my hood through my windsheild, I would have left too.

Anyway, I cried. The cops were mean to me. I got towed. I called my insurance company. I don't have collision coverage, or towing or anything. I went to a doctor and got a whole bottle of muscle relaxers. I plan to sell them one by one on Ebay. I went to a body shop. The car shop dicked me around. It was cool because they didn't answer their phones so I had to constantly go down there to talk to them, and there were usually 4 or 5 homeless guys hanging around in the shop drinking 40's out of coffee cups and taking shots off a bottle of "Milk Chug." After 4 days, (mind you I am paying for a rental car this whole time) they tell me they don't want to work on my car because they want to go on vacation instead. So I go to another body shop and this time take my daddy with me. Apparently, men are only interested in working on the cars of other men. Because once I brought my dad, everyone was much nicer, cheaper, etc. This is especially interesting because my dad knows about cars on an equal level with like, one of JonBenet's competitors. Nonetheless, the price went down and is hovering around $1800-2000. I have already bought $800 in car parts on the old credit card. And I'm renting a car. LIFE IS GRAND!!!

What is especially lame is that I have really set up my life so that I need a car. I live in the middle of nowhere, I go to school in the middle of nowhere. I have an internship in the middle of nowhere, a job, likewise. I do my volunteer work in the middle of nowhere. (Yes Wondergirl I do have a job and do volunteer work!) So seriously, I don't think I could live without a car unless I move. Which isn't very realistic for me.

Anywho, if you want to help me, that's totally rad. If you don't, that's okay too, but I hate you. Just kidding. Anyway, the easiest thing you can do for me is to just sign up for the porn I advertise over there in the sidebar. It's free or a $1 or something, but you do have to give them your credit card number. I signed up and it really wasn't a big deal. I haven't been ripped off or kidnapped or anything. So you sign up and it costs you nothing, and I get the $20 referral money. You also get the added benefit of getting to see 18 year old girls who took gymnastics naked. Or something like that. So it's win-win. For those of you who want to step up to the next level, you could paypal me some cash. Now I know this is ridiculous, but I have to assume that there is the off chance that there is someone here who actually cares that I got into a car accident, and isn't just waiting around hoping I will take off my shirt someday. Anything REALLY helps, and even when it is only a tiny amount it makes me feel good to know that you care about these amusing little scrapes I continue to get myself into. Or just send me a yahoo card or something. It's all good. P.S. Tracy gave me $25 because she is a FREAKING ROCK STAR!!! Thanks darling. And someone else too. :D

In other news, my friend Stacy looks particularly cute when she holds babies. I have proof. But my scanner is unplugged so I will have to post that tomorrow.

If you are looking to spend money on an internet stud (other than me), please give Shaun a shout. Luckily for us, he's on AOL so feel free to add him to your buddy list. He sounds like a real winner.

From the shutitdown guestbook:

One last thing, I only get 14 people a day here now. My moment of glory is over. So unless you want me to end up like Serra you better go click on this link. It's just a cam listing directory, but it gives me a little traffic which I like. Also, there are a particulary flattering picture of my cleavage on it, so go check it out. Also, just go back every day and vote for me. Okay? OK!

The last thing I have to say is that I wrote two papers this week, and have two more to go. I like one so much that if I get an A I will post it here. I like that I got a dig at Jesus in it. Digs at Jesus are always funny. So send me money. YAY!