I'm sorry I've been such an ass about updating. I just wait to go online until after my bedtime, and then I am too sleepy to write anything amusing. BUT, just to whet your collective appetites, I plan to post the saga of my freaking insane neighbor's plastic flower garden. So get ready for that, kids.

In other news, I heard a very similar story to Bright Lights, Big Dick in My Ass. Basically it was the same premise, but the star was Kevin Spacey. But I don't actually know any of the players involve, so this is just slander or libel or something. Anyway, I was just trying to come up with an excuse to link Bright Lights, Big Dick in My Ass. What a story, what a story.

So anywho, this isn't a real update. It's a preview of sorts. There's another drunk girl in one of my classes. Reminiscing about the drunk girl of CUNY brought a tear to my eye. I've also realized that I was funnier six months ago. It makes no sense. I still have no life, yet all those things that used to happen to me that made me sound like a raving psychotic with a vivid imagination have just kind of stopped happening.

Things like: getting attacked by a squirrel, or that time that I burnt my hand on the toaster and my brother told me about the time in our childhood that he smashed my face on the floor and made my teeth bleed, or remembering when I wore platforms and hung out with drag queens? <3. Love the good old days.

p.s. If you want a tattoo in Maryland, go here!