So I have been thinking about updating since Monday, when I met my doppelganger, THE OTHER LINA. She is in one of my classes, and is at least 6 feet tall and blond and stylish. She's from Sweden. She has her own Lina necklace. At first, when I heard there was going to be another Lina in the class I prayed that she would be short and homely. That way I could be "the pretty Lina." But the fact is, had she been such, she would have brought down the value of Lina. So now I am glad that the other Lina is 6 feet tall and blond. For she increases the value of Lina. And if we become friends, I can call her and say "hi Lina," and then she will say, "hi Lina" and then we will have a good chuckle.

My friend Leija just finished getting her proverbial house in order and her webpage finally works. Visit littlestpromdate.com right now and tell Leija how much you love her. She's the one that calls me "Buttah" and makes fun of me for being so white. The page, littlestpromdate.com, is named after a specific moment in time. A moment where Leija looked out her window, and saw some high schoolers taking pictures for their prom. And one of the girls, in the smallest prom dress imaginable, was a midget. She was, the littlest prom date. How cute is that?

Speaking of cute, I got sent the most disturbing penis I have ever seen last week, by a man whose self-proclaimed moniker is "The Shortest Willy." If you want to see said willy, click here. If you want to email "The Shortest Willy," click here. This is the kind of thing that makes me want to bathe in rubbing alcohol whilst chewing glass. Know what I mean, jellybean?

Also, go sign the Kirsten Dunst/Jake Gyllenhaal Sex Tape Petition. We all saw Bring It On and Donnie Darko didn't we? Nuff said.

p.s. I just went outside and saw a skunk in my driveway. This would never happen in nyc.