I have had a rather full weekend, and since I know you are here to get vicarious thrills from my life, I shall tell you all about it. On Friday night I went to see The Faint play, which was pretty rad except for this bald guy who kept touching me. Then I went over to the other Lina's where I witnessed a sight that was both titillating and shocking. Lina and her roommate Holly were pulled up in a 20 foot long gold cadillac trying to move a tree off the side of the street so they could park. Of course the tree was about 500 pounds, and Holly was in 4 inch heels and Lina was in a 4 inch miniskirt. Rather than helping, I just took pictures for you, dear reader.

Then, on Saturday, my parents gave me 3 pounds of candy (which you can multiply by three and add to my ass) and we went grocery shopping together. This inspired me to have a dinner party, and with my father playing sous chef, it made it that much easier. I think I pulled it off pretty well. I made a piece of pork that was bigger than my entire head, among other things. I've decided I must start entertaining more often, and in order to further this end I went and bought two bottles of sparkling apple juice (no one says I don't know how to PARTY).

Today for Easter Olive and I celebrated by going to the sex store, but were sadly disapointed to find that the resident perverts were celebrating the resurrection of our Lord instead of selling porn and vibrators as usual. I also got in a screaming match with a psychopath about a parking space which attracted hordes of bystanders. I think my argument carried considerbly more weight since I was wearing pink heels. By the time I got home to work on my Jonbenet art project, I was exhausted. Not too exhausted though to call in to the local radio station to win free tickets to the sold out Ladytron show next weekend. The whole escapade was rather thrilling, and the fact that I ended my evening with a giant dog named Judas on my floor only made it that much more exciting. Back to work now.