I took my last final yesterday, and now my summer stretches out before me like some vast, unending wasteland. Luckily, my jangled nerves were soothed by this picture sent in by a rabid shutitdown fan. Please feel free to send in your own. There are a few specific types of fansigns I'm hoping to one day receive. First, I'd like to get a picture of someone's butt with my name on it with the starfish dotting the "i." Next on my list, I'd like to receive some more tube sock pictures. In case you didn't know, one of my hobbies is getting my friends into various states of undress and tube socks and taking pictures. I'd love some fansigns of my loyal readers in tube socks (striped, please). Nudity is optional and not necessarily encouraged by the management. Send all pictures to lina @ shutitdown.net. If you want a link, tell me yo url, too.

I've been a bad friend lately. Unintentionally, of course. You know when you think hiring strippers is a good idea, and then later you realize that maybe it was not such a good idea? Yeah, that happened again. I'm an ass. I was in Trader Joe's buying cheese and strawberries, and we were on the phone with the strippers while we were going through the checkout. I paid for my items, and requested $20 cash back. The checker sneered at me and said, "Would you like that in singles, ma'am?"

I blushed furiously and slunk out of the store. Later, as the stripper was doing his thing, he suggested that he bring out his friend--who was waiting in the other room for him to finish so they could go out clubbing--to dance for us as well. We cheered, and he said, "Well maybe I can pull another guy out of my ass!" One of our gay male friends snidely said, "I've done that before." As things heated up, one of strippers pretended to put his hand nearly on my friend's crotch. He said, "I think I feel something hot!" A flaming homosexual in attendance (a different one) uttered dryly, "That's chlamydia."

In other, less shameful news, Fran and I were talking the other day about the cutest bikini that she saw. It's pink with cherries on it, and she was contemplating getting it for me. And herself, of course. I love things with cherries on them, but I had to admit that there was a chance only slim-to-none that I would ever wear a bikini. I'm pretty Amish in that department, and like to keep my gorgeous body covered at all times. Fran made the astute observation, "Lina, girls way fatter than us wear bikinis all the time." Somehow it's not translating very well for the web, but I will tell you, at the time it was freaking funny. I love that girl.

So I'm looking for a job for the summer. I've only put in one application sp far, but I'm working on it. I'm hoping to not get an office job again this year, because they suck the lifeblood out of me. I'm excited about summer though. If anyone wants to help me celebrate the end of the semester, remember the tube sock pix and of course it wouldn't be a weblog without the wishlist link, to which I've added a plethora of DVDs that I desperately need to make it through my summer.