Number of times per day, on average, I give someone the finger while driving: 2
Pounds I have lost: 11
Pounds I have gained: 10
Number of people who have told me I am "intense" so they don't have to say "crazy": 2
Times I have been pre-emptively dumped: 1
Number of cavities filled: 6
Number of emergency root canals: 1
Dentist bills paid: 0
Sugar gliders murdered: 2
Phone calls not returned (by me): numerous
Dirty words I know in Swedish: 16
Times my dad has called to ask a stupid computer question: 19
Books from the library that are overdue by more than a month at this very minute: 6
Dead people: 4
Times I've watched "Bring It On": 7
Number of friends who have posed in tube socks and underwear for me: 8
Number of times I went to Sephora: 3
Number of times I wanted to go to Sephora: 56
Crashed hard drives: 1
 Number of men that have sent me unsolicted pictures of their penii: 6
What I got for Christmas: A karaoke machine, tickets to see Olivia Newton-John, a pen that allows me to play Connect Four at the most inopportune moments.

Things people have searched for and ended up at shutitdown:
sugar glider porn
i would like fuck girls pussy in philadelphia in person for free
why do girls kick men in the balls
i think the young people enjoy it when i get down verbally don t you?
britney farting
ass plugging
my mammary
balls bus seat legs spread
are there glands in your hands?
list everything terry has ever logged on to
girl with the fat face
artfag naked
my big ass
elephantitus balls
you the man now
stories of teenagers running away to a life on the streets and prostitution
who ate turkey lurkey
how do you make a homemade tattoo gun?
she was masturbating furiously
tijuana hooker
poopy face
ivy league hookers
penis christmas ornaments
how do i tell my therapist that i don t need therapy right now
billie jean is the best song ever written
baseball bases for sex is fingering 2nd or 3rd base?
blue red green time warping moon crystals
jonbenet satanic ritual