"I don't want you writing for Playgirl," my grandmother insisted as my family and mother looked on, snickering.

"Well what else am I going to do with my time?" I questioned. "I might end up sleeping around."

"You already ARE!" My grandmother replied.

Unable to properly respond to this unfounded claim, I sputtered, "Well, I need a hobby!"

Ever ready with an argument, my grandmother quickly replied, "I thought you were thinking about taking sewing classes!"

--

Yesterday, I was shopping for underwear with my mother. As I am often wont to do while shopping for lingerie, I raised my hands to the heavens and cried, "What am I going to do with the rest of my life?"

My mother turned to me and cheerfully replied, "Pornography, probably."