The other day, my parents came over to my house and presented me with a bouquet of flowers, yellow daffodils. They then proceeded to take their house key back from me, and dumped me. It was reminiscent of the time that guy from Rancid took me out on a second date in order to dump me from our first date. I mean, why the flowers? Who gets dumped by their parents?

My parents are the shittiest boyfriend I've ever had.