I'm running out of soul-crushing stories from Valentine's past, but I suppose I can share that last year on this fateful day I found myself in a Korean karaoke bar and ended up walking out in tears before midnight. This might be because my singing ability can only be described as heinous, or so I told myself on the two mile walk home.

This year, though, I decided to be proactive and sent the Polack a love poem. I was a little nervous--I've learned from my traumatic past relationships that one should never let a boy know that one likes him. There is nothing that can ruin a relationship like signs of affection. However, I decided to drop my guard and let him know how I truly feel. Although I'm too shy to post the entire text here, I will give you a one line sample:

'Why would I have ever let this Pole stick it in my Jewish hole?'

No one can say that I don't know how to bring the romance.

If you've never read my Valentine's posts from previous years, it's well worth it to check them out: