I think I might be having a mid-life crisis. This doesn't bode well for my predicted longevity. I haven't written anything in months, and I let my subscription to the New Yorker lapse. I've cancelled my trip to Croatia which is sort of ridiculous because I organized a 40 person group (really) to go. They're all still going, but I'm going to Bangkok on Wednesday instead, and then on to India. I'm feeling a sort of low level hysteria at all times, with an undercurrent of absolute calm. I'm not sure if this calm is genuine or if it's a defense mechanism or if it's just the valium. I think perhaps I'm in a place in my life where no matter what happens, it will probably be interesting. Either way, I'll be home in time for Electric Picnic.