March 2002 Archives

I just got this email. This is the 2nd time I have heard from this guy in the last 6 months.

In other news, I was planning on following up yesterday's star-studded celebrity entry with a story entitled, "Bright Lights, Big Dick in My Ass," but I find that I am too exhausted to write it right now. I am sure, though, that I have you all salivating for tomorrow's update. :D

Today's Friday Five is about famous people!!! Woohoo!!

1. If you could eat dinner with and "get to know" one famous person (living or dead), who would you choose?
I'd probably choose to have dinner with someone I would potentially like to have sex with, because dinner oftentimes leads to sex. Therefore, I would like to have a dinner party with Conan O'Brian, the guy who stars in the show "The Guardian," Richard Ashcroft from the Verve and Mark Kozelek from Red House Painters (we would do it and he would cry).
2. Has the death of a famous person ever had an effect on you? Who was it and how did you feel?
I remember in high school I was at Kristin C*ker's house and we heard on LIVE 105 that Dave Gahan had just killed himself in a hotel room. Kristin started freaking out and crying. It was terrifying. For more on Dave Gahan (he didn't actually die), see number 5. You should go read the account on fran's page of our realization of the anniversary of Kurt Cobain's suicide. It's pretty funny.
3. If you could BE a famous person for 24 hours, who would you choose?
Well...I would want to be Clarissa from Clarissa Explains It All, but that's a character, because I certainly wouldn't want to be Melissa Joan Hart. I did, however, call her house and hang up a couple of times when I was 11 and obsessed with being her. Is that sick?
4. Do people ever tell you that you look like someone famous? Who?
When I had long hippie hair some IRC nerds said I looked like Alanis Morrisette. I've also heard that I look like Toni Collette when she had red hair, or Jillian Anderson. It's just the hair though. Really the only people I look like are my parents.
5. Have you ever met anyone famous?
Hmm...yes. Probably not a lot of people you have heard of. I went to the christening of Dave Gahan's (singer of Depeche Mode) daughter. Horatio Sanz (the fat one on SNL) asked me if I would put my fist in his ass. Seriously. I've hung out with Moby and one time he touched my butt by mistake. I made out with Joseph Arthur. Jesse Camp gave me his number and invited me to his house for veggie Thanksgiving dinner. Jimmy Fallon bought me a shirley temple at Moomba one time. I can't really think of any others right now, but Fran is sitting on my bed masturbating furiously sobbing because of the Jimmy Fallon thing. Ahahah.

I just wanted to mention again how much I love Tony Danza. Every goddamned week I watch Family Law, and it makes me cry like a little girl with a skinned knee. If you didn't already know, Tony is an accomplished tap dancer; one time when hosted Saturday Night Live he started doing his soft shoe act and I nearly wet my pants. Not only is he handsome and charming, Tony is a fount of knowledge. Move over Estelle Getty!

"I take a bunch of vitamins. I am a vitamin guy. Cod liver oil really helps your joints. I also take antixidants, becuase I have cancer in my family, unfortunately." --Tony Danza

Dear Tony,
I think I am in love with you. I know that I've written to you before, and you,ve never writtten back, but I've never felt this way about any of the boys in school. The way you used to say "Ay-Oh" on Who's the Boss makes my heartrate triple! I would like to have your babies.
Sincerely,
Lina

It's my spring break right now, but I have to stay at home and work on my college applications. I have so much stuff due at the end of this week. I have been in front of the computer non-stop for like two days, and yet I have accomplished very little. I am almost completely done with my NYU app, please check out my college page if you are interested in sponsoring me. I really do appreciate all the help I have gotten, and will keep you all updated on my application status. :)

If you want to want to do something to help shut down allcutekids.com and chantellemodel.com you should write to their host, cavecreek otherwise known as the internet porno billing company, CCBill. It's one man, who is hosting a number of very borderline pornographic sites. He hosts a Yahoo Club for one of the 13 year old models. If you find it offensive that this man takes this minor underwear shopping so he can take pictures of her in them, report it to Yahoo.

If you want to sign this guy's guestbooks, go here: allcutekids' guestbook and chantellemodel's guestbook.

Also, please remember that you can report child pornography or questionable material (anonymously) to CyberAngels.

So I registered shutitdown.com! I don't know what to do with it, any suggestions?

I have gotten a bunch of amusing links today. Like I always say, don't call me nigger, whitey, or I'll amputate.

Poor little Zilch saw this and cried in misery and impotent rage. Hello sooty!

I was listing things on ebay when I ran across some funny auctions.

A couple of days ago my mom sent me the multi-tasking jesus. Within days those smartypants in the forums over at something awful have come up with some much more relevant "always with you" pics.

1. Where were you born (city or state or just country)? New York, NY. But I was raised in California. Bi-coastal, as it were.
2. What is your favorite number? uhhh....am I really supposed to have one? Can I say 17 like Fran? That was my best year, to date I think.
3. Vanilla or chocolate? Chocolate.
4. What section of a bookstore would I find you in? Literature.
5. What kind of mattress do you have on your bed? soft? firm? water? DEAR GOD WHAT A LOADED QUESTION. I have a 200 pound futon mattress on a box spring that has like 12 holes in it. You have to sleep it a weird curve to stay level. It's really abominable, but I choose not to deal with it.

Today's questions.

1. What is your favorite time of year? Spring!!
2. What is it about your favorite season that, well, makes it your favorite season? Good god, anyone who says anything other than Spring or Summer is just trying to be cool. YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIE TO KICK IT. We all know that Spring is the best because the funky slush disapears, I can show my white legs again, my crazy plants start growing again and I can take the sugar gliders outside!
3. What is your least favorite time of year? Why? Winter. It's cold. It's depressing. Summer in New York is gross, but since I have experienced its glory elsewhere I can't hate it.
4. Do you do anything to celebrate or recognize the changing of seasons? Contemplate slitting my wrists, generally.
5. What's your favorite thing to do outside? Go back in. Or roam around with my friends like a pack of feral dogs.

So I know I have said it before, but I am not ashamed to say it again. I LOVE THE CHICKS ON SPEED. They motivate me to put on mascara and leave my apartment on occasion.

New photo album from chix show tonight up here.

Hahah I had a double chin so I had to cut it out of this pic. HAHAHHAHAHAA. Don't tell internet gossip!

Here's a good quote from Point Break, "I'm so hungry I could eat the ass end out of a dead rhino." I FEEL THAT WAY ALL THE TIME.

ATTENTION! I HAVE FINALLY PICKED A WINNER OF THE BOYFRIEND CONTEST!
Here he is: my new boyfriend! Please everyone, don't be jealous of our love.

I'm in a pretty good mood today, and have been as of late. My main problem is that I can't work up the motivation to clean my apartment. It's filled with dust and the funk of 40,000 years. Someone please clean it for me. :(

P.S. I LOVE USING CAPS.

Men think that when they are sitting on the bus if they spread their legs really REALLY wide it makes all the girls think they have big balls.

I think I want to kick the balls of all men that take up two seats on the bus by spreading their legs so wide.

Like, I actually think about this all the time, because I take a very crowded bus line on a regular basis. Today a man on my bus had at least a foot and half between his legs. IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY? It really doesn't make us think your weiner is big. Really.

Apart from pee being funny, which it always is, a really funny thing to say is URINE TROUBLE. THAT ONE NEVER GETS OLD, MY FRIENDS.

I was on cam live tonight for a while. It was weird, I never do it anymore because I feel sorry for my AMAZING host because who really wants to pay bandwidth for pictures of my face? Also, I feel the need to make new expressions, and things like that which is usually not a good idea, and then I just end up staring straight ahead lit by the neon glow of my screen. I did manage to keep it up for a whole hour. :D

They decided to extend unemployment last Friday. I am not surprised, because it would have been a public relations nightmare. They did it 1 business day before the 6 month anniversary of the WTC thing--in other words, one day before everyone who lost their jobs because of the terrorism would have run out of benefits and ended up on welfare. I have my fingers crossed about qualifying....seems good though.

The weather was so nice today that I wore a skirt and these neat honeycombed fishnets that my mom got me for my birthday. I was at school all day, and today I had a 3 hour break between classes. 3 hours of studying always makes me fall asleep, so as usual I go to these weird couch things and sleep during my break. All of a sudden, I awoke with a start because I WAS POSITIVE THAT I HAD FARTED IN MY SLEEP. Don't ask me why I thought this, I was just sure I had let out a ripper without meaning too. I HATE MY LIFE.

That last paragraph reminds me of the funniest person I have ever encountered online. Her name was Tonya Buttimer, and she existed only on the boards of a teen web site. Her posts were the only things worth reading for entire weeks. This should link you to her posts of the last 6 months or so, unless Bolt screws it up. What a smart little whippersnapper. I am tired and have nothing else to say. I really need a haircut. My mommy is coming to NYC this week, so maybe she will notice what a rat I look like and take me to get a haircut. PRAY, PEOPLE PRAY!!

I haven't updated my cam pic because my hair looks like a cross between:

marilyn manson

and Jennifer Anniston.

This was completely unitentionally, but since I am growing my hair out, and I don't want to cut it into some kind of pageboy, it has ended up giving me the "SHAG LOOK". I do not like.

For all you SIMS players out there, I finally uploaded my first house and family to the Sims Exchange. Here's my AMAZING family. :D
Tell me what you think!

"GET A PART TIME JOB THAT PAYS THE SAME AS A FULL TIME JOB!"

Round of applause please, thank you thank you.

  
Jesus loves me.

Here's an email that I got a few days ago:

This was my breakfast, lunch and dinner today.

Wow so it's always rad when I wait until 3am to update my site, because then I am just too tired to be funny! Except for when I was chatting with artfag tonight, and I told her about when I thought I was a lesbian but then it just turned out that I really like bikini kill. Don't deny having that feeling, people!
I don't have much else to say other than I watched Family Law again tonight (TONY DANZA's show) and it made me cry again! WTD with that? Every week. That Tony, he's always held the key to my heart.

So I updated my link list again.

I'm thinking about stalking this girl Beth. She's so mysterious and foreign. She makes me want to smoke cigarettes. Go look at her cam archives and see that she has been making out with girls and showing her boobies. Very mysterious.

P.S. When my hard drive exploded I lost all of my fan signs. So maybe you could make me one! It's a way to give me a birthday present without spending a penny. Win-win! email me.

My birthday present from DrT?

----- Original Message -----
From: "Doctor T" original_drt@yahoo.com
To: lina@shutitdown.net
Sent: Friday, March 01, 2002 8:02 AM
Subject: Do you have me blocked

Hi,

I understand that you don't feel comfortable sending me nudes........yet :) You are such a sweet person. I will be honest though I do have a naked pic of you. I made it myself to satisfy my curiosity.

It took me a while to find a silimar body and then i had to make her naked. lol It was not the easiest task since I had to stop a couple times for ....er....motivational sessions.

I hope this does not offend you. I hope to see you online soon, and I hope to see you on cam sooner.
Your friend. DrT

      
Poor little Zilch in his e-collar.

My little baby got his testicles removed today, it was a very long day. He has been trying to rip out his stiches so they put him on an anti-psychotic. It made me reminisce about the long, lazy days filled with anti-pyschotics and ovaltine. Oh sweet 17, where are you now?

So anyway, he's all fucked up and in an e-collar, which is one of my favorite things for animals to do. I have to hand feed him for 7 days and keep him in a separate cage. Poor baby.

On my way home from the vet (where they tried to charge me $250 until I ACTUALLY CRIED), I got kicked off the bus, called the bus driver a bitch, and then came home and got locked in my apartment. I had to pound on the walls until my neighbor came out into the hall and took care of it. Thank god I didn't have to call the police to have them rescue me from this crackhouse. Trauma all around. I really have a headache.