shutitdown: livin' for the anecdote

<< shutitdown: taking one for the anecdote

Bronx zoo-style.

 

I know everyone was desperately wondering how my trip to the South Bronx was. I have received dozens of inquiries as to my personal safety, so I thought I would put all of your minds at ease by telling you that it was OKAY. That's it. Not great, not terrible. As you may know, one of my friends, Iris, is a 6th grade teacher for the worst 6th grade class in all of New York City. And that's not just her opinion, it's an actually documented, recorded class. The school she teaches as has been named the worst elementary school in New York City being the proud possessors the lowest test scores in the city. And within the school, Iris teaches the worst class, apparently. There are kids as old as 15 in there, and a few of them were twice my size, which is immense.

At one point, I was left alone with my 9 charges, (7 of which are shown in the lower picture), and one of them, a girl weighing in at a hefty 175 pounds, decided that she had suffered enough indignities at the hands of her 250 pound tormenter. She grabbed a stapler, pushed me aside, and barrelled towards the door in a fury. I had to physically restrain her, which was NOT easy, remove the stapler from her grip, whereupon she picked up a chair and threw it across the room. Some of her classmates warned me at this point that she had used a similar chair to shatter the blackboard earlier in the year (which had still not be replaced). Needless to say, I was furious/terrified, as I was, at this point, alone with these animals. To add insult to injury, the same girl beat me at a game of tic tac toe a mere 15 minutes later.

Also, I saw lots of animals and learned some new slang. Other than that, I haven't been able to breath properly due to anxiety regarding my finals/move. AHHFHGHKDLAHGAAHSAFHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh.

8 Comments

Funny, you don't look like you're 250 pounds...

uh, that would be crazy mexican in my case... :)

all you crazy white folk only commentin' to try and bring down us black folk. give the kids a chance, they're probably growing up in pretty fucked up situations that you nor i have/will ever experience.

truth be heard.

uhh. are they flashing gang signs?

wow... I went to the Zoo last Friday, and it only consisted of me sneezing a lot.. and oddly enough there was a friendly squirrel incident, too :D

175 pounds? holy shit!! tell her to put the fork down...

i'm surprised they didn't try to sue you for putting your hands on a student...

better hit the gym if you're gonna keep helping your friend... :)

What an unruly primate habitat!

 

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Lightweight: Funny, you don't look like you're 250 pounds... read more
ernster: uh, that would be crazy mexican in my case... :) read more
r: read more
langdon: all you crazy white folk only commentin' to try and read more