lina (8:46:14 AM): dude the most fucked up thing happened
this morning
max werkn (8:46:21 AM): ?
lina (8:46:26 AM): i put my hand into the toaster to retrieve my frozen waffle
max werkn (8:46:31 AM): DING
max werkn (8:46:34 AM): YOU WIN A PRIZE
lina (8:46:39 AM): and my hand touched the top of the toaster
max werkn (8:46:53 AM): dude
lina (8:46:58 AM): and part of my skin immediately turned brown and sizzled
max werkn (8:46:59 AM): even a dog would have learned by now
lina (8:47:03 AM): it was so fucked up
lina (8:47:09 AM): it stinks like burned flesh
max werkn (8:47:10 AM): DONT TOUCH THE HOT THINGS
lina (8:47:20 AM): i didn't mean to, asshole
lina (8:47:34 AM): i mean, this is coming from a guy who sticks screwdrivers into his own hand
max werkn (8:48:00 AM): it was always on purpose
max werkn (8:48:03 AM): for sympathy
lina (8:48:32 AM): did it work?
max werkn (8:48:40 AM): not sure
lina (8:48:47 AM): i felt sorry for you
lina (8:48:56 AM): a little
lina (8:49:01 AM): i was definately grossed out
lina (8:49:05 AM): so i felt something, at least
max werkn (8:49:07 AM): it did gush
max werkn (8:49:18 AM): member when you were putting foil in your hair
max werkn (8:49:26 AM): and i put a mouse trap under a piece of foil
max werkn (8:49:33 AM): and it nearly broke your finger
lina (8:49:38 AM): no???
max werkn (8:49:40 AM): i felt sorry for you
max werkn (8:49:41 AM): a little
lina (8:49:43 AM): did that really happen?
max werkn (8:49:47 AM): yes.
max werkn (8:49:50 AM): mom remembers
max werkn (8:49:57 AM): you were in my room for some reason
max werkn (8:50:03 AM): and you were doing your hair
max werkn (8:50:13 AM): wrapping it in foil for some reason
max werkn (8:50:19 AM): when we had all the mice problems
max werkn (8:50:28 AM): and i took one of the mouse traps
max werkn (8:50:36 AM): and put it under a piece of foil
max werkn (8:50:41 AM): and you went to pick it up
max werkn (8:50:44 AM): and it snapped
max werkn (8:50:49 AM): and you screamed bloody murder
max werkn (8:50:55 AM): saying i broke your finger
max werkn (8:50:56 AM): and i hid
lina (8:52:11 AM): now that i know about this, i'm gonna get you
lina (8:52:15 AM): you should hide now
max werkn (8:52:29 AM): pft
lina (8:53:08 AM): i totally blocked that out
max werkn (8:53:28 AM): with good reason
lina (8:53:34 AM): yeah no kidding
lina (8:53:37 AM): christ
max werkn (8:53:44 AM): remember when we were fighting
max werkn (8:53:47 AM): all through out the house
max werkn (8:53:53 AM): and we ended up on the floor in the dining room
max werkn (8:54:04 AM): and i grabbed your head and smacked you face first into the tile
max werkn (8:54:07 AM): and your teeth bled
max werkn (8:54:12 AM): we didnt fight much after that
lina (8:54:35 AM): you fag
max werkn (8:54:53 AM): you remember dont you
max werkn (8:54:59 AM): our parents were horrified
lina (8:56:31 AM): no i dont remember at all
lina (8:57:21 AM): you savage
max werkn (8:57:51 AM): ask them
lina (9:00:22 AM): i just called to ask about the mousetrap
max werkn (9:01:44 AM): sacred memories
max werkn (8:46:21 AM): ?
lina (8:46:26 AM): i put my hand into the toaster to retrieve my frozen waffle
max werkn (8:46:31 AM): DING
max werkn (8:46:34 AM): YOU WIN A PRIZE
lina (8:46:39 AM): and my hand touched the top of the toaster
max werkn (8:46:53 AM): dude
lina (8:46:58 AM): and part of my skin immediately turned brown and sizzled
max werkn (8:46:59 AM): even a dog would have learned by now
lina (8:47:03 AM): it was so fucked up
lina (8:47:09 AM): it stinks like burned flesh
max werkn (8:47:10 AM): DONT TOUCH THE HOT THINGS
lina (8:47:20 AM): i didn't mean to, asshole
lina (8:47:34 AM): i mean, this is coming from a guy who sticks screwdrivers into his own hand
max werkn (8:48:00 AM): it was always on purpose
max werkn (8:48:03 AM): for sympathy
lina (8:48:32 AM): did it work?
max werkn (8:48:40 AM): not sure
lina (8:48:47 AM): i felt sorry for you
lina (8:48:56 AM): a little
lina (8:49:01 AM): i was definately grossed out
lina (8:49:05 AM): so i felt something, at least
max werkn (8:49:07 AM): it did gush
max werkn (8:49:18 AM): member when you were putting foil in your hair
max werkn (8:49:26 AM): and i put a mouse trap under a piece of foil
max werkn (8:49:33 AM): and it nearly broke your finger
lina (8:49:38 AM): no???
max werkn (8:49:40 AM): i felt sorry for you
max werkn (8:49:41 AM): a little
lina (8:49:43 AM): did that really happen?
max werkn (8:49:47 AM): yes.
max werkn (8:49:50 AM): mom remembers
max werkn (8:49:57 AM): you were in my room for some reason
max werkn (8:50:03 AM): and you were doing your hair
max werkn (8:50:13 AM): wrapping it in foil for some reason
max werkn (8:50:19 AM): when we had all the mice problems
max werkn (8:50:28 AM): and i took one of the mouse traps
max werkn (8:50:36 AM): and put it under a piece of foil
max werkn (8:50:41 AM): and you went to pick it up
max werkn (8:50:44 AM): and it snapped
max werkn (8:50:49 AM): and you screamed bloody murder
max werkn (8:50:55 AM): saying i broke your finger
max werkn (8:50:56 AM): and i hid
lina (8:52:11 AM): now that i know about this, i'm gonna get you
lina (8:52:15 AM): you should hide now
max werkn (8:52:29 AM): pft
lina (8:53:08 AM): i totally blocked that out
max werkn (8:53:28 AM): with good reason
lina (8:53:34 AM): yeah no kidding
lina (8:53:37 AM): christ
max werkn (8:53:44 AM): remember when we were fighting
max werkn (8:53:47 AM): all through out the house
max werkn (8:53:53 AM): and we ended up on the floor in the dining room
max werkn (8:54:04 AM): and i grabbed your head and smacked you face first into the tile
max werkn (8:54:07 AM): and your teeth bled
max werkn (8:54:12 AM): we didnt fight much after that
lina (8:54:35 AM): you fag
max werkn (8:54:53 AM): you remember dont you
max werkn (8:54:59 AM): our parents were horrified
lina (8:56:31 AM): no i dont remember at all
lina (8:57:21 AM): you savage
max werkn (8:57:51 AM): ask them
lina (9:00:22 AM): i just called to ask about the mousetrap
max werkn (9:01:44 AM): sacred memories
There's a 7 year difference between me and my older brother but when we were younger and used to fight, I was pretty tough. One day, he outsmarted me and somehow got me to agree to let him tie me up with rope. Well, he tied me up so well that I couldn't move. Then he stood me up and when I called him a wimp, he let go knowing i would fall. Too bad I fell backwards into the corner where 2 walls meet and it split my scalp open. It bled and bled and bled. Talk about a savage.
ispfemme | August 2, 2002 3:48 AMIn the days when Polo mints cost five-pence, I went to school with a very sensible girl that we will call Sarah Johnson. Sarah got good grades, was always scrubbed and had the best attendance rate.
One day Sarah didn't come to school, and the school was perturbed. ‘What could be the matter?’, blinked confused teachers, now left without an apple for lunch.
The next day, their pleas were answered in the shape of Sarah timidly shuffling into the classroom with her hand swaddled in bandages. For you see, Sarah had decided to rebel. For once, she chose ‘what if?’, rather than watch opportunity’s back race away from her. Sarah had sat in her parent’s car before school, patiently awaiting Mater or Pater to whisk her education-wards. And Sarah had thought…
“I wonder how hot that cigarette lighter gets?”
There is no moral to this story. Only a pitch for Fox. Kasey Kaseem to present “When Sensible Girls go Stupid”.
K | July 19, 2002 3:00 PMI tell this, because it is slightly more network friendly than "When Household Appliances Attack" presented by Greg Evigan from My Two Dads.