April 2003 Archives

Then, on Saturday, my parents gave me 3 pounds of candy (which you can multiply by three and add to my ass) and we went grocery shopping together. This inspired me to have a dinner party, and with my father playing sous chef, it made it that much easier. I think I pulled it off pretty well. I made a piece of pork that was bigger than my entire head, among other things. I've decided I must start entertaining more often, and in order to further this end I went and bought two bottles of sparkling apple juice (no one says I don't know how to PARTY).

Today for Easter Olive and I celebrated by going to the sex store, but were sadly disapointed to find that the resident perverts were celebrating the resurrection of our Lord instead of selling porn and vibrators as usual. I also got in a screaming match with a psychopath about a parking space which attracted hordes of bystanders. I think my argument carried considerbly more weight since I was wearing pink heels. By the time I got home to work on my Jonbenet art project, I was exhausted. Not too exhausted though to call in to the local radio station to win free tickets to the sold out Ladytron show next weekend. The whole escapade was rather thrilling, and the fact that I ended my evening with a giant dog named Judas on my floor only made it that much more exciting. Back to work now.

I love the other Lina.

Feelin' it.

I got back from LA, none the wiser, but so much more tan. Actually, I don't tan, but sometimes when I get enough sun my freckles blend together to give the illusion of a tan. I've decided that I love LA. There are palm trees everywhere, and the entire 120 mile city is one big strip mall. If there is one thing that I like, it's strip malls. Well, I like malls and I like strippers, so I figure the combination is gold. My plan is to go on a diet and move to LA. I've already started. My diet plan is rather simple, I eat exactly what I would normally eat, I just feel really guilty about it. It's a plan that nearly anyone can follow! I had a great time there though. I got to see my old friends and stay in a fabulous house and pet a dog with a snaggletooth. And I must admit that I smoked cigarettes all weekend. Because I was on vacation, you know. And I drove the entire trip down by myself, which was almost 6 hours. I had decided that Mary was too small to drive my big car, but as it turns out she handled it quite adeptly on the way home. I drove faster than I have ever driven before too, which was super fun but I can't tell you how fast I drove because I have too many snitches reading this site who might report back to my daddy.

While I was there, I got to see yet another Electroclash extravaganza (seems like they are following me, almost) where I saw the infamous Avenue D again. Their line-up of songs include, "I want a donkey punch" and lyrics like

I'm sure you can see why I have the utmost respect for Daphne and Debbie. I went to that show with "Jamie" of unprotected sex fame of a few posts down, and she reminded me that four years ago we had made plans to start a band called "Unprotected Anal Sex With a Stranger." Had we followed through on such plans, it would be we, and not Avenue D performing in LA wearing nothing but pasties.

I actually have a number of band plans in the works at the moment. There is Lina Squared with the other Lina, The Invisibles (of which I am DJ Lina Invisible) with Teresa, and now of course, the resurrection of Unprotected Anal Sex With a Stranger. It's particularly intriguing because I do not play any instrument nor do I intend to learn. Unless of course we hark back to the tamborine debacle.

I'm afraid though, that once I move to LA I won't have a whole lot left to fall back on. I've always kept Los Angeles in the back of my mind as a place I might want to settle, and once I burn through that city, I'm not sure where I will have left. Unfortunately, I have terrible language skills (I only speak the language of love) so I am afraid to leave the country for an extended period. There's always England, but the weather sucks. And weather is important, you know? I'm just rambling because I should be doing my homework right now. I've been putting it off for 12 hours.

In other news, I've decided that I am completely broke. Apparently, I have this little "problem" that haters like to call a "shopping addiction."

And PS you better start leaving more comments here, I'm getting bored.