I got back from LA, none the wiser, but so much more tan. Actually, I don't tan, but sometimes when I get enough sun my freckles blend together to give the illusion of a tan. I've decided that I love LA. There are palm trees everywhere, and the entire 120 mile city is one big strip mall. If there is one thing that I like, it's strip malls. Well, I like malls and I like strippers, so I figure the combination is gold. My plan is to go on a diet and move to LA. I've already started. My diet plan is rather simple, I eat exactly what I would normally eat, I just feel really guilty about it. It's a plan that nearly anyone can follow! I had a great time there though. I got to see my old friends and stay in a fabulous house and pet a dog with a snaggletooth. And I must admit that I smoked cigarettes all weekend. Because I was on vacation, you know. And I drove the entire trip down by myself, which was almost 6 hours. I had decided that Mary was too small to drive my big car, but as it turns out she handled it quite adeptly on the way home. I drove faster than I have ever driven before too, which was super fun but I can't tell you how fast I drove because I have too many snitches reading this site who might report back to my daddy.
While I was there, I got to see yet another Electroclash extravaganza (seems like they are following me, almost) where I saw the infamous Avenue D again. Their line-up of songs include, "I want a donkey punch" and lyrics like"I don't give a shit
Cum on my tits
Make me twitch
I'm a dirty bitch."
I'm sure you can see why I have the utmost respect for Daphne and Debbie. I went to that show with "Jamie" of unprotected sex fame of a few posts down, and she reminded me that four years ago we had made plans to start a band called "Unprotected Anal Sex With a Stranger." Had we followed through on such plans, it would be we, and not Avenue D performing in LA wearing nothing but pasties.
I actually have a number of band plans in the works at the moment. There is Lina Squared with the other Lina, The Invisibles (of which I am DJ Lina Invisible) with Teresa, and now of course, the resurrection of Unprotected Anal Sex With a Stranger. It's particularly intriguing because I do not play any instrument nor do I intend to learn. Unless of course we hark back to the tamborine debacle.
I'm afraid though, that once I move to LA I won't have a whole lot left to fall back on. I've always kept Los Angeles in the back of my mind as a place I might want to settle, and once I burn through that city, I'm not sure where I will have left. Unfortunately, I have terrible language skills (I only speak the language of love) so I am afraid to leave the country for an extended period. There's always England, but the weather sucks. And weather is important, you know? I'm just rambling because I should be doing my homework right now. I've been putting it off for 12 hours.
In other news, I've decided that I am completely broke. Apparently, I have this little "problem" that haters like to call a "shopping addiction."
And PS you better start leaving more comments here, I'm getting bored.