shutitdown: livin' for the anecdote

<< shutitdown: taking one for the anecdote

Girl, you'd better work.

So I have a job, and a respectable one at that. Unfortunately for you, dear reader, I am not at liberty to talk about it here for I fear that this webpage will be my demise eventually--or at least be responsible for getting me canned at some point in the future. I tried to explain this theory to my mother, I told her about how Dooce got fired because of the content of her blog. My mother, refusing to acknowledge any of the sound points I was making, asked what I talked about on my webpage that was so objectionable. "Mom," I whined, "I talk about anal sex like, practically every day." My mother's eyes went wide and she said, "Well what's wrong with anal sex? It's not illegal is it?"

Now as my long time readers can guess this is an actual conversation I had with my mother. (Remember when she said "pudendum"?) Particularly amusing was the fact that this conversation was being held in front of both my father and a number of my young friends. The trip itself to bring said young friends and my parents together was also pretty entertaining. According to my mother, my father started whistling circus music as my friends and I drove away. Comedy gold.

Many of you seem to be interested in my gym-going activities. I, your indolent webmistress, who has garnered a reputation as one of the laziest girls in the entire Bay Area has been going to the gym both regularly and furiously. They have incredibly trashy magazines there which basically serve to keep me on the machines in a way that the desire for exercise or physical fitness never could. Jane Magazine particularly is notably horrifying--I read an article about "Ivy League Hookers" that detailed one Columbia student's ordeal licking 67-year-old anus in her quest for Prada clothing and accessories. No people, I am not making this up, they used the word "anus."

My goal for the summer is to develop some sort of abdominal muscles. Not the kind you can see, mind you, but the kind that are safely hidden under a layer of tummy. I was talking to the girl who works at the gym and together we analyzed my exercise history. Basically we came up with the hypothesis that it was just through sheer luck alone that I have enough muscle mass to propel myself from the couch to the bed on a daily basis. Thank Christ for the little things, you know?

9 Comments

I like your writing style. It makes me giggle...the part where you were talking to your mom about anal sex...lol.


peace.
Amend

0, Miss,('0'=APLholicism,'no'!): He states, in His Word: that an individual MUST THANK Him for ALL,(~just the little ones!), things!: SO; Jesus: 'I Am' THNX.LRDing You, that the 'I Am',[Ex3:14!], of myself, w/in the 2Co5:1,"Tent", into which You have placed the 'I Am' of myself: IS the 'Last American Virgin', w/an inf. amt. of '>',(More!), TRUTHfullness, than that movie, w/the same title! Wasn't it just patently obvious,{In & Out}: of SO MANY bouncing Vans: =s SEXual, Coital experience! Or,is it that 'I Am'=0?
Could u, would u: Please,"Agree w/me, in Prayor ", '>DOing<:Mat.18:19 ......Amen! !! !!!

Gotta love charles...

I think I love your Mum.

dude, on TV last night.. there was Steve Irwin (of crocodile hunter fame) and he was rescuing this gorgeous little sugar glider, it had got itself tangled in barbed wire. Eventually, after been bitten a few times (!) and successfully untangling the little cutie, he discovered it was a female glider and she had a baby in her pouch!

aww, it was cute. you would have liked it.

your parents RUUUUULE.

i dont see how your manager has any way of even seeing this webpage, lina. i mean, when i worked at mcdonalds, they didnt even have an internet hookup. dont worry about it.

lina: and im not stalking you

de·ni·al ( P ) Pronunciation Key (d-nl)
n.
A refusal to comply with or satisfy a request.

A refusal to grant the truth of a statement or allegation; a contradiction.
Law. The opposing by a defendant of an allegation of the plaintiff.

A refusal to accept or believe something, such as a doctrine or belief.
Psychology. An unconscious defense mechanism characterized by refusal to acknowledge painful realities, thoughts, or feelings.
The act of disowning or disavowing; repudiation.
Abstinence; self-denial.

i bent my wookie

 

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Recent Comments

Amend: I like your writing style. It makes me giggle...the part read more
DrRalph Pryse,PhI,PhD!: 0, Miss,('0'=APLholicism,'no'!): He states, in His Word: that an individual read more
mikeinfl: Gotta love charles... read more
Pete C: I think I love your Mum. read more