My father dragged me through the place for 45 minutes. As we were checking out, I saw a man, a midget or a dwarf, carrying a can of Heineken that was at least a foot tall. I did a double-take. Then a triple-take. Was this an acid flashback? A cruel joke? I fled the store in terror and cowered outside until my father finished his shopping. In a bitter twist of fate, I had to go directly from CostCo to the DMV to get a new driver's license. Forever after the look of fear on my face was imortalized on my ID.
I was reminded of the incident because I started school today. (Oddly enough, school started yesterday and I forgot to go. So I started today instead.) In my novel-writing class is a girl who was in one of my classes last semester. I really like her, she's a nice girl a fine writer, but I spent the entire last semester worrying that perhaps I was losing my mind and up was down, black was white and the world was not as it seemed. Why, you ask? Because she has the most enormous breasts I have ever seen, and tends to wear t-shirts with tiny "baby" pockets on them. The pockets are about an inch and half across and seem to distort my view of her breasts, and the world as a whole.
What happened to the boobie pictures?
Boobies | February 5, 2004 12:56 PM | ReplyAre you talking about the can opener? Check out my collection. It's about 2/3s down the page.
http://www.georgia-outfitters.com/page52.shtml
It was a sincere gift. I gave lots of them away over the holidays and have many more to give away. Lighten up.
Michael | February 4, 2004 4:05 PM | ReplyOh I don't know, maybe some other Michael who MAILED HER A FUCKING RAZOR BLADE with NO RETURN ADDRESS.
What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously, how do some of you people get to this point? LINA WAS NOT PUT ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH TO PLEASE YOU.
You see that kid "the truth"? You're pretty much as bad as him, except that your obsession involves what you believe to be "love", while his involves hate. See how batshit insane he looks? That's how you look to everyone else. You're only better because you can spell.
Do the following:
1. Stop coming here and obsessing over Lina; she is a human being
2. Stop obsessing over women on the fucking internet in general. This may be an astounding revelation but they are all also human beings
3. Seek professional help, because I'm sure at least part of you knows you need it
4. DO NOT EMAIL LINA [or me] AND ATTEMPT TO "MAKE AMENDS" OR "DEFEND" YOURSELF. YOU ONLY MAKE YOURSELF LOOK WORSE. LEAVE QUIETLY AND WITH YOUR DIGNITY.
thx.
luna | February 4, 2004 3:35 PM | ReplyAre you saying that Lina doesn't like me? Or are you talking about some other Michael?
Michael | February 4, 2004 1:08 PM | Replygod damn, shut the fuck up you crazy asshole, you're even worse than michael
THE INTERNET IS NOT A LICENSE FOR YOU TO STALK PEOPLE
luna | February 3, 2004 5:07 PM | ReplyTHE INTERNET IS NOT A LICENSE FOR YOU TO STALK PEOPLE
THE INTERNET IS NOT A LICENSE FOR YOU TO STALK PEOPLE
THE INTERNET IS NOT A LICENSE FOR YOU TO STALK PEOPLE
THE INTERNET IS NOT A LICENSE FOR YOU TO STALK PEOPLE
YOU'RE THE PITCHER I'M THE CATCHER
THE INTERNET IS NOT A LICENSE FOR YOU TO STALK PEOPLE
THE INTERNET IS NOT A LICENSE FOR YOU TO STALK PEOPLE
Oh true, TRUE!
I washed your underpants for you. They are all nice and clean now, you good little boy :-)
mommy x x x
the true's mom | February 2, 2004 1:29 AM | Replyyou know the net is a public issue,if you do not like my opinion get f out of the net,if youre inthe net youmost to be open to recive the public opinion.the true do not call me fernando or old trick ,understood,I'm the true even thoug you don like me or you do not like the true,I've a life.undrstood darling.te true
thetrue | February 1, 2004 9:09 PM | ReplyFernando, I use the term "old trick" because that's how you have signed your emails in the past. Stop stalking and get a life.
Lina | February 1, 2004 8:35 PM | Replyhey! way you dare to call me old trick?.I never had a exelent sex with you,and i will never desire to have it,i mind not with you,maybe if you have a smart,beauty,warm fillings friend,well you never will understand what i'm talking about,you do not know what loves mind and do in a mens world.a revua.
the true | February 1, 2004 6:32 PM | ReplyAh, the old trick returns.
Lina | January 31, 2004 8:57 PM | Replythis is for nzc,you sounds like a mexican chili,you browny! frijole.
the true | January 31, 2004 7:52 PM | Replya lot of people seem to leave really fucking asshole comments.
p.s. hay luna ward up.
nzc | January 30, 2004 7:42 PM | Replyit seemed kind of rude not to leave a comment after clicking about 70 links. so.. i appreciate you giving me the chance to click links. thanks. it was fun!
nzc | January 30, 2004 7:41 PM | Replyyou sam you must to work in construction,isn't it?I like your lastname ,ha,h,ha,ha
the true | January 26, 2004 7:17 PM | Replymessage for 'the true' -
Shut up, you asshat.
Sam Brick | January 26, 2004 1:47 AM | ReplySee? We guys are right! Boobs are the center of the universe!! hee hee
How have you been Lina? Classes going ok so far?
Gregoire | January 25, 2004 5:02 AM | Replythis comment is for that one who enter here around 1 or 2 am.and you enter at this time becouse you have not girl at all you loser,at this time mosts of us we are having a hot,wet,sex with a real women,anyway,get a life o.k.,the true
the true | January 23, 2004 11:11 PM | Replythis comment is for (not true)i mind (lina using this name)you need a terapy as soon is as you can afford it.yu gays sound's like loser,or hilly billies,or drug addicts actives,one aking to see the bobbies,and the other showing her like the way she realy pretend to be,anyway,maybe she has a gilfriend and I still doubt it,as a fact,I'm a american citizen,and I think you are the foreigners,becouse you live you Relity behind this little screen hidding your past and present the true.
the true | January 23, 2004 9:39 PM | ReplyON VIRTUAL REALITY!
AS IN CYBER-SPACE!
LIKE THE INFORMATION SUPER-HIGHWAY!!!
luna | January 23, 2004 10:39 AM | ReplyYo "True," you dumb fucking foreigner fronting on the English language: I know her and she's hot, she has a boyfriend, and she's drug free. Eat a dick, you little piece of internet wormshit. And Lina, I second the motion to get pics of the big titties with the pockets.
Not True | January 23, 2004 1:08 AM | Replyon virtual reality you sounds o.k.,but in real life I'll bet you are a following person,you don't even have a boyfriend,do you?and by the way you looks like drug adict women,bitchy,and cheap.
true | January 22, 2004 9:05 PM | Replyboobies!
ob1 | January 22, 2004 2:07 PM | ReplyPerhaps you could post your driver license picture for our collective amusement. Or better yet, post pictures of your friend busty.
unrequited love always
Michael | January 22, 2004 1:47 AM | ReplyMichael