February 2004 Archives

What can you say about an image like that? Thank you Luna, that's what! And since I ripped off her idea in my last post, you should really go visit her. Anyway, I asked you guys what I should post about...

Luna suggested I tell the story of my first menstrual period, and I would, darling, if I remembered it. You know how those sorts of things happen and you sincerely believe that you will remember that moment, crystallized, forever? Well, it's not true. Old age sets in and it's all gone in a sea of Swiss cheese and lint. I know that I was 12, and that my mother bought me a red headband at Payless to commemorate me becoming a woman. Note that I don't remember anything except what was bought for me.

Which is, of course, a nice segue to remind you that my birthday is on Wednesday, and I might not remember anything after the fact except what you get me. Let's make some memories.

Another comment that someone asked me to post about was tube socks. Frankly, my tube sock addiction has been a little hard to feed lately. I got a cute pair of Puma tube socks a while ago, but other than that there hasn't been any good news on the tube sock front. If anyone knows of where I can find some killer tube socks, please write to me. Or even better, send me me a picture of you in tube socks with "LINA" written across your darling shins or something. Like this one. That, my friends, would make my day.

When I am going about my day, living my life, I constantly think of things that I vow I will post on my website. Of course since I only update it every 10,000 years I never remember what those things are. So many things have happened recently that I haven't posted about--I saw Olivia Newton-John in Reno and she looked right at me, I played blackjack for 4 hours straight and didn't have a single cigarette, I filed my taxes, another dude sent me a picture of his willy, got some more therapy, and had my fat goalie idea ripped off by Amstel Light.

I also got my notice from school saying that i am destined to graduate in the fall. They also told me that it will cost almost $90 for the cap and gown, and another $100 for graduation invitations. As I'd rather spend my money on porn and fried chicken, I'm thinking about skipping the ceremony. Is there any reason I should think twice about this? I don't come from the sort of family that will gift me large amounts of cash upon the donning of a mortarboard, so I'm not sure if there is any reason that I should bother. Please weigh in, dear reader.

Also, what should I do for my birthday? I'm thinking roller skating, but the closest rink is kind of far away so I'm not sure. Any brilliant ideas?

The dirty valentines last year.

In non-holiday related news, I am going to directly steal a post from Luna so go visit Luna so she won't be mad at me for doing it.

You give me something to write about. I write it.
Your website and/or genitals, the President (I wouldn't know where to start), and the "latest" interweb funny video are not viable options.

So get to it.

Completely unrelated to school, I've been subpoenaed to testify in a drunk driving case three times this month. Apparently, the driver had a blood alcohol content of like .69 and plans to mount a rousing defense based on the grounds of...what? Well, if being a drunk Mexican in a cowboy hat is a defense for drunk driving, than this man will surely get off. Otherwise, it's to the gulag for him.

In other court related news, I feel the need to torment our good friend, commenter, and possible near-term recipient of a restraining order, Fernando, aka "the true" publicly. As I've banned him from commenting, I'm sure the sense of impotence he will feel in being unable to respond to this post will only do him good, as his potence seems to be a major problem in his life. You see folks, "the true" is not only a troll online, but in real life as well. I don't have time to spew the details now, but they are juicy, and will be coming up on shutitdown eventually. Until then, feel free to make fun of him in the comments.