Dick pics and possible careers

I went to the career center the other day with the hopes that they would tell me what to do with the rest of my life. Unfortunately, they expected things like my "interests" and what I "enjoy" about working. Needless to say, not very much got accomplished. We did, however, establish that I really enjoy watching Seinfeld re-runs, and I'm also rather fond of eating and sleeping. We also think that the last time that I was truly happy was around age three. Thank god I'm in therapy, right?

Another interesting thing has come up here at shutitdown--and it involves penii.

First, I got this email:

I had no idea what she was talking about, and deciding that she was not a good candidate for my potential army of Linas, I did not resond to the email.

Then, a few days ago, I got this IM.

So guys, if you are looking for a new Lina, I've just provided you with the contact information for a few. I'm not really sure how to react to the fact that a penis with my name on it is #5 on the google search for penis. I mean, it's my own fault, of course, but I still can't help but be slightly disturbed. I've also just received another one in my inbox, and it's not making me feel any more comfortable. I've also learned that the audience of Linas and friends of Linas searching for "penis" on google is larger than I would have liked to imagine.

Perhaps you have some suggestions for how I should deal with the google situation? Or maybe you just want to write my name somewhere else like your knuckles or your five-inch taint, that would be rad. Keep 'em coming, sports.