Thanks to South Park, we've all heard about "German shise videos," but despite my obsessive use of the Internet, I didn't realize the severity of the situation. Here are some of the more exciting titles that I saw displayed on the Reeperbahn:
Some things are just too good to make up!
Next, I went on to France--first Reims and then Paris. I stayed with my cousin Laura, who in addition to being one of the only readers here at shutitdown, can speak French fluently and has a charming affection for exotic cocktails. Together, we took a number of blasphemous pictures in the Reims cathedral, and composed a list entitled "Things Nerdier Than an Interest in Dragons," which will be posted on shutitdown shortly.
I then met up with the DFP in Prague, (I've decided to officially rename "Dumb Fucking Polack," or DFP for short, in case he ever comes across this site). Prague was a beautiful city--a gothic Disneyland of sorts. Parts of it were so gorgeous it was hard to believe I wasn't on the set of a movie somewhere in LA.
The highlight of the trip to Prague was forcing the DFP to go to the Jewish Holocaust Museum and synagogue. We walked through the exhibits which showed the names of the tens of thousands of Czech Jews that had been exterminated in the holocaust. "Why did you murder all of these people," I hissed at the Pole.
"Because of the exorbitantly high interest rates," he replied, adjusting the yarmulke I had insisted that he wear. He looked around to make sure that no one else could hear, and then murmured "usurers!"
To make up for his anti-semitism, he bought me some goulash and a shirt that says "Czech me out," a slogan which has not ceased to tickle my fancy since my return. I mean, that's just comedy gold.
"Czech me out," is such a bad joke that it's good.
Waiting for that list. And I will probably be showing it to my friend who has a profound interest in dragons and slowly weighing the values of our relationship based on how hard she laughs at each item.
Tomorrow, a girl at school named Chelsea May-something will probably kill me because I called her stupid. Which she is. She will kick me to the ground with her big, long, soccer-playing legs and I will die and people will hate me forever because she has a larger social network. So I'm preparing for my day of reckoning and going around the house mumbling things like, "Chelsea May-something, Chelsea May-something, I'm just so jealous of you, you are so much prettier than I, have mercy," and going up to my bathroom mirror in the dark with candles lit and saying her name three times for the thrill of it.
Just the words "Extreme" and "Piss" make me giggle. Have fun in where ever it is you are right now.
Brandy | January 18, 2007 8:40 PM