My googleganger

The new generation, on the other hand, was raised on Facebook and Bebo and Myspace and loves nothing more than to revel in the flushed glory of putting it all out there. They don't like to compartmentalize. They find our views on anonymity quaint, antiquated, the way we feel when our parents tell us that buying things over the world wide web isn't safe. And now, one of these internet demons has come of age, and she's got the same name as me.

I noticed it coming on gradually over the last few years. The Google alert I have set up on my name were arriving more frequently, and now they weren't just about long-dead German women. There was a new Lina G. in town, and if the school sports pages were any indication, she was just hitting high school. At first I ignored it, pretended it wasn't happening. Then I realized that I was getting to watch another Lina G. grow up without having to actually go through the horrors of actually doing it myself. She started joining sites and using her, our full name to post inane comments about teen celebrities to forums. I cringed, and prayed that no potential employers thought it was I that had gushed about how Josh Harnett was lyke, totally talented. This may seem like a small thing, but with only two Lina G.s in the world, when one Googles our name, the results give the impression of one, if slightly disjointed and insane, person. This other Lina G. could ruin my rep.

And as the sports victories piled up, I started to realize that as this Lina G. reaches adulthood, her potential to disrupt my life grows. When will she, I wonder, ever stop using our name on the Internet? Doesn't she realize that being born into a unique name engenders responsibilities? I realized the time had finally come to register my name as a domain, if only to preempt the other Lina G. from doing it. And now that she's started posting slutty pictures of herself on Facebook, I know that I made the right choice. I look at them, and sigh in frustration. This girl is just learning the pain of being Lina G., something that I've been living with for decades.