shutitdown: taking one for the anecdote

my dysfunctional family

° Piles of magazines and surrogate grandmothers  Lollo is one of my grandmother's friends, I think. I'm not sure exactly what our relationship is to her. It's...
° 1000 pages  My mom found this in a letter she had written to my grandmother in 1985. "Tonight Lina and I were...
° Poesy from California  Sadly, I still don't have internet at home. This is my current excuse for not updating my site--I feel vaguely...
° All for nothing  Before he died, one of the last things my grandfather told my brother is that "life is a farce." He...
° Turkey lurkey  Lina: no one invited my brother for Thanksgiving Roisin: awwww Roisin: they must really dislike him Roisin: or do Jewish...
° A list of things  Things: I was in Fruitvale the other evening and saw a dwarf hooker. No, seriously. She was a 'little person,'...
° Thrown over  The other day, my parents came over to my house and presented me with a bouquet of flowers, yellow daffodils....
° Snapshots  Snapshot of Rome: In a cab, trying to go home. The cab driver pulls the car over, and tries to...
° Interfamilal Instant Messaging  The cast: My father. My uncle Peter. My younger brother, Max. Father: Peter says that Max is quoted in today's...
° If Sarah Silverman can say it, so can I.  Last summer, my father went almost completely deaf in his right ear. Sitting around the table at Chez Panisse, a...
° It's called dogs get lonely 2.  For two weeks this summer, I had a pet. Zoe has been in our family for nearly 10 years now;...
° My career as a pornographer.  "I don't want you writing for Playgirl," my grandmother insisted as my family and mother looked on, snickering. "Well what...
° Porn shopping with the fam  The fruits of my labor are finally paying off...sort of. A few days ago I got an email from a...
° My league of nations.  After the dissolution of my most recent entanglement, I found myself talking to my mother, once again, about my romantic...
° A correction.  "If you did run down the street..." my father began to say, in reference to my recent post about hot...
° Hot dogs.  Trying to make up for childhood traumas with corndogs. I don't remember how old I was, maybe six or seven....
° Reflections on personal sites.  "Rousseau in the course of his Confessions narrates incidents that profoundly shocked the sensibility of mankind. By describing them so...
° Just like Daddy.  A few days ago, I called my father and told him that I felt that I had no compelling reasons...
° At home on the piano.  My aunt is an actress, and one of my earliest, most traumatizing memories of her was when she invited...
° For the love of God  The other day my mother attempted to convince me that the only way I would stop sabotaging my own life...
° Dating my family  Over the last week and a half, I was in New York for a family event. As such, my entire...
° One bad-ass mofo.  Family portrait where I am wearing the Mofo shirt and smoking a fake cigarette. Proof positive that I don't make...
° Esta Noche  The other day, one of the members of my international male harem was visiting from Sydney. We went out to...
° Birthday update  When my grandmother recently turned 80, she decided that she would prefer to be 70. She asked everyone in the...
° A Cunning Linguist  When I was but a girl, my parents, rather than try and escape my presence, would speak to each other...
° Loose ends  When recently faced with the pile of wrapped-but-not-given Christmas gifts at the end of my more recent relationship, I remembered...
° I'm with Holly  The other day, I was in an incredible funk. I checked my email at work, and there was a message...
° Not funny.  My brother teaching Red about "the shocker." I'm in New York right now, where I came to watch my grandfather...
° The big day.  Yes darlings, it is my birthday. This means a few things--I'm a pisces and I'm probably way too old to...
° Girl, you'd better work.  So I have a job, and a respectable one at that. Unfortunately for you, dear reader, I am not at...
° An apology.  I got a number of complaints about my recent posting of a dick pic without warning, so the above...
° Vaca.  I am so happy to be on vacation, it's grand, really. I've gotten 4 of my grades so far (out...
° turkey lurkey  Yes, this is from last year. Shut it. I really hate it when people say "turkey day." Happy Turkey Day!...
° I hate updating.  Sometimes, like now, I hate updating. I prefer to update only after I have received 5438960 comments on the last...
° Re: tards, yo momma, and crack rocks.  PLEASE, for the love of god, check out this video: Your momma smokes crack rock. The little girl with the...
° so fucking cute.  My babies are the cutest things in the GD world!...
° finally, a post!  Well, I had a fabu time in California. If the financial aid situation comes through, I think will move there....
° $$ misery.  I am sure you all have noticed my running theme of financial chaos and destruction. Well, my mom had a...
° no more testes.        Poor little Zilch in his e-collar. My little baby got his testicles removed today, it was a very long day....
° off with his balls!  Zilch. Whelp, it's that time of year again--ball-cuttin' time. Tomorrow, my baby zilch is getting neutered. He has a little...